Breaking up is hard to do.

Breaking up is hard to do
Before and after the I love yous.
Making up can be the glue
But it will never be as secure as a screw
Temporary fixes can mask the pain
Lies and deceit brings it back again.
Breaking up is hard to do
Before and after the I love yous- Random poem by me completely butchered what a poem is but hey it's art :)

Gifts.

Every year I convince myself I will not be participating in gift giving during the holiday season. Every year I fail. Maybe its my shopping addiction, even when Im not shopping for myself I still get the same joy in buying things and especially things on sale. This year I have quit a few people to buy for.My mom , dad, two brothers and one of their girlfriends . That may not seen like alot but for a college student it is . I have two more weeks until Christmas and one pay check . This should be fun .

Dieting.

I'm on a diet. The drink nothing but water and survive off of three bites of food diet. Okay I'm being dramatic but its not diet I want to change my food habits and overall health. I have lived the days of eating poorly. McDonald's every other day , soda, candy and chips. But now my body and skin are starting to display a of my unhealthy eating habits . First thing to go is the soda and fast food. This has been the hardest for me but is the worst of what I eat . Next will be my uncontrolled snacking that occurs everyday all day . Instead I will drink water when I feel the need to nibble . I have however mastered breakfast . Water with egg whites and maybe one slice of turkey bacon and when I'm on the go I eat a gluten free chocolate min protein bar . Although its not the best breakfast it's better than a donut . The biggest enemy however is my sodium intake . I would like to reduce that by half if possible , I will be investing in some Mrs. Dash seasonings which contain no salt . Well that's all for today !

Today.

I woke up early than expected this morning around 7:30 am due to the chaos in my household. My mom and dad running around trying to hang up Christmas decorations. My dogs climbing on my bed and licking my face . I decided to go straight to the gym and get a u
workout in while I had a chance . I got back home and attempted to do some
work considering the last week of classes are approaching . That completely failed . So I took a nap for a few hours. Now I'm sitting around the living room with a few family members watching tv and eating I'm probably ruining everything I did in the gym. But I will survive I might even go bd for another work out. Adios !

Math .

From a young age I realized my weakness in math . I am not sure if I created this reality or if I was thrown into it. The site of a problem makes my brain hurt. For some people math is just another subject. No big deal . See how a problem is solved practice a few times and bam ! They got it. But for me it's watch the problem 50 times practice endlessly and still get the problem wrong each time in a different way. Maybe Im not applying myself maybe I have convinced myself that I am bad at math so much it is coming true. Either way, I hate math.

Learning..

"Learning how to learn is more important than the thing you are learning". 

I'am not sure where exactly I have heard this quote before, but I remember hearing it as a child, and it has stuck with me ever since. Now that I am college and paying for my education along with the help of loans, I realize how important knowing how to learn is. Anything is learnable in a sense. But learning how to learn is not always easy. Looking back at elementary is I notice that it was not so much what we were learning but how we learned. By asking questions, by investigating, by researching. Being in college this is important concept. Not knowing how to use these skills entering into college will only result in your down fall, Professors are not there to shove information down your throats, they simply present the information to you. It is our job as students to take that information and expand on it, to research and question it. To soak up as much as we can before we leave to make us more educated and well rounded citizens of the world. Being thirsty for knowledge is one of the best traits a person can have in my opinion. Because someone who wants to learn will always continue to learn and grow as a individual. But when that passion for knowledge is not there , neither is growth.

End of the semester.

The end of the semester means pretty much to anyone who is college. Less sleep, more coffee and making up all the work you have been putting off for 3 months. Why do college students wait until the last possible minute to complete work? Because we are lazy..but thats neither here or there. I am just happy to say I have made it to the end of the semester at all. So many people I began college with are no longer here. Either they couldn't handle the work and were just too lazy to do it.As a matter of fact more than half of my friends that I started school with have dropped out all togethor with no plans on returning. And lets face it even if they do plan on coming back they wont. To me college is like a band aid if you stop half way through pulling it off you will never want to go back and finish it.Although there are many of times I rather drop out and pursue a career in exoctiv dancing or the ever so popluar fast food ,I remind myself these jobs are good for now but now isnt forever. getting paid 600$ is good when you are 19. But no one stays young forever. So I grit my teeth and deal with it. Drowing myself in loans, accumulating debt I will most likey never be able to pay back.

Tis' The Season

 Once again, it is my favorite time of the year. The Holiday Season brings joy to even the coldest of hearts. Something about the music and smell of pine makes me smile. Although I hate the cold, I am partial to it because I cannot imagaine the Holidays without a few snow flakes and icy roads. And Of course , the shopping . Although I'm not particularly buying things for myself a good holiday sale brings joy to my life either way. The older I am getting the more appreciative I am becoming of the holidays and how it encourages you to slow down and spend time with family you have been busy ignoring all year. Speaking of the year one of my favorite and least favorite days is New Years. The older I get the faster these years are flying by however I am grateful to say I made it each other

Sleep

Sleep , the enemy when we are young and our Bestfriend when we are old. Lately I have been getting a lot more sleep than a full time college student who works should. The crazy part is I feel more tired than ever . Am I the only one who feels more energized throughout the day when I have woken up early ? It's strange I know. There are so many things I can get done in the day that I spend sleeping . So many successfully people talk about how they barely sleep . Clearly one has to do with the other. The more hours you spend in the day being productive the more successful you will be, in my opinion . I can sleep later in life, there's too much I can be doing with my time than catching some ZZZ's.

Horrible Bosses

Tonight I am watching a movie called Horrible Bosses. The main idea behind the movie is that three friends decide that when they're bosses are too much to handle they plan to kill them. They go to a inner city bar too look for a assassin. They run into Jamie Foxx better known in the movie as Muthafucka Jones, He then becomes there murder consultant in which he helps them carry out the murders without a actually being there. Considering some of the horrible jobs I have had this movie doesn't seem so far from reality. There is something about the title manager or boss that turns people into soul sucking creatures. Maybe I am being dramatic but you get the point. People hate their bosses , unless they are physically involved with them , that's a whole different movie. Horrible Bosses was a great movie and a great way to fake my mind off my own horrible job.

The election is over

America has decided and Barack Obama has been elected for another 4 years of presidency . Which means election 2012 is over. It has been a long time coming. No more robo calls or stupid election commercials. The news will now return to its coverage on random killings and popular Internet videos . Don't get me wrong I believe it is important to have a voice in this country and make it heard by participating in voting and other civic duties but this election season seemed more ridiculous than ever . My personal opinion is the other opponent was not even qualifies to run for president to begin with thankful enough people in this country agrees with me . Anyways the election is over . Long live the queen ...

The cold

Cold weather is not for me. Things die in cold , including my tolerance for it. I rather be hot than cold any day of the week. I feel as though I can never get warm enough . When I was a little kid you couldn't keep me out of the snow . From the first snow to the last I surrounded myself in it. But now the first sight of a snow flake I feel sick. As a matter of fact it snowed for the first time in Philadelphia yesterday and surprise surprise I'm sick ! I am counting down the days until spring and summer. The only thing I can say about winter that I enjoy is the fashion . Cute boots and coats help me through this dreadful time of the year giving me hope that it won't be so bad after all.

Hurricane Sandy...

   Hurricane Sandy's visit to the East coast has been a bittersweet one. It has caused much devastation,killings,power outages and flooding. However I have been able to sleep past 9 am in three months due to the school closures. My job however some how managed to stay open. But did I go in? No ! I refuse to risk my life driving down slipper roads waiting for an oak tree to end my life. Speaking of trees a pine tree decided to land in front of my house inches away from causing a second tree to fall on our car and inches away from falling on our house. But this is nothing compared to the devastation a lot of people have experienced. I am very lucky and grateful I am safe along with my family. These last three days have however drove me and my boyfriend up a wall. It is safe to say we will not mind when our regular schedule is back and in place. 36 hours straight sounded like a good idea.. But turns out , not so much. However today is a new day, the sun is trying to peek through the clouds, the roads are still wet but ready to be used. Now I must catch up on all the work have put off for the last few days and resume life before Sandy.

Eastern State Penitentiuary.

I recently visited the ESP over the weekend for a haunted house like walk through of the prison. Although I could barely see or keep my eyes open because I was so afraid I could not help but be fascinated with the former prison. This "Penitentiary" was the first of its kind. It was designed to emphasize principles of reform rather than punishment to its inmates. Some of the residents that stayed at this lovely facility include Al Capone. It is said that he  positioned himself in the ESP to cover for the Valentines Day Massacre that he participated in. His cell was in the area of the prison dubbed "Park Avenue". The name speaks for itsel. Even with all the damage that has occurred to the prison over the years it still was beautfiul to me. It was hard for me to imagine stepping inside of a hole in the wall and someone shutting a door and locking it with a key. Most of the cells I seen did not even have bars but small doors with a small peep hole for barely any light to escape through it. It was a very fun experience but surreal one, especially to be in place where so many men and woman lost their minds and their freedom.

Coworkers...

Coworkers, I have had them and I have been someone’s coworker for about 4 years now. So I know both sides to this very tricky relationship. I have had almost every coworker there is to have, the lazy one, the loud one, the over achiever, the under achiever and many more. However today I will be speaking about the unreliable coworker. The one who needs favors but can never give them. The coworker who doesn’t show up to work or fulfill any duties that the job requires but then has the nerve to complain when they have to do the least amount of work. Yes me and this coworker do not get along. This coworker is a opportunist and it pisses me off. Okay I have to admitt I am speaking of specific person you if you did not pick that up already.I usually dont get caught up in workplace drama or try to but when what my coworkers do begin to effect me I do not appreciate it.  I wont go into mandane detail. Im just venting I guess.

Procrastination..

Procrastination should be my middle. No really, I even procrastinated on writing this blog post on procrastination.Sometimes I think that I procrastinate on procrastinating, if that is possible. It really is a bad habit and you know what they say they are hard to break. This would not be that much of a big deal if I were not in school and didnt work, where deadlines and due dates are very much so apart of my life. Maybe I am rebelling agaisnt my professors by waiting until the very last minute to complete any assignment given to me. But then again I am only hurting myself. But yet I still continue to do this to myself. Maybe I should join a procrastinators annoymous. Or I could stop being so lazy, but ofcourse easier said than done. But maybe I'm only lazy when it comes to things that I am completely not interested in doing. Because if I ever need a new pair of shoes I dont hesitate to run to the mall. But my shopping addiction has been explained in another post. Maybe by admitting I have a problem I will now be able to face it head on. Why put off today what you can do today Benjamin Franklin once said. Cleary procrastinaiton has been around for quit some time now. I am happy I am not alone in this struggle.

The Proposal.

The Proposal starring Sandra Bullock one of my favorite actresses of all time is about a well established business woman who receives the news that she will soon be deported back to Canada. This is a interesting concept for a movie considering when people hear deportation and immigrant they don't picture a English speaking well established white woman. To stop the deportation process Sandra decides to commit fraud and marry her secretary. The secretary played by Ryan Gossling unrealisticly agrees to this only if she gives him a promotion and publish his manuscript .The film also stars Betty White who apparently plays everyone's grandmother in every film within the last 6 years. Anyway the new.y engaged couple must now travel to Ryan's home in Sitica, Alaska where the story really unfolds and we meet Ryan's family and ex girlfriend. I'm writing this as I watch the movie so there will be no officially end to this movie "review" for another hour . I'm also at work , multitasking at its best !

Blogging.

    Blogging is becoming extremely cumbersome. I am running out of things that I feel comfortable writing about. Which leads me to believe that I should begin to write things that dont make me comfortable.But until then I will write about how I have nothing to write about. Today is my Dads birthday and my phone broke, so it has been a pretty eventful day already. I have yet to get him a present but I will look for one before I get home from school.  I have a bunch of homework to do but instead of doing it I will procrastinate and do this blog. I will continue writing until I reach 250 words ,which is the minium length that these blog posts have to be. According to the word counter I found on google, I have a long way to go. I still have nothing to write about. Did I mention my phone is broken. Not just any phone, the Iphone. If my phone is going to break I could save money and buy a phone I know thats going to break and not care because I did not pay $300 for it. I am almost at 250 words, what else can I come up with.  My next blog I plan on having a top to blog about. This is just plain painful. A few more sentences and this torture will be over. Soon to be right about now.

Inspiration..

I think it is important that throughout our lives we pull from people,things, situations,music or anything to keep us inspired. Inspired to continue learning, to meet a certain goal or just to live a healthy life. I believe inspiration keeps me motivated which I find hard to do most days. I give up fairly easily for the most part. But is is hearing the stories of people who do not even have the words " give up" in their vocabularies. I mostly draw inspiration from parents who have not stopped their lives because they have had a child but have simply added to it. I myself do not have children myself. I often find self pity on myself being a full time student and working full time while still trying to maintain a social life. But when I see parents who juggle way more than I do , I am inspired. How can I complain when I only have to care for myself. The sacrifice parents make is above and beyond and need no recognition for it. I strive to be that selfless with or without a child. How can I not find time to complete everything it is that I need done, when these parents complete twice as much. Wasting time is one of my biggest challenges, I am so exhausted from waking up at 4 am to work that by 1 in the afternoon when most people have energy I am ready to go back to bed ! But  then I think of all the parents who wake up at 4 am to get themselves and their children ready to start their days every single day.

My new addiction..

I have been online shopping since before I owned a debit card. Not only can I avoid driving, long lines, and crowded malls but I can shop at as many stores as I please. Shipping has never given me problems like some people, I have ever missed a package. Now that I am older I will only shop online when I know there is a sale or discount that I will not be able to get in stores, or when I am buying in bulk. Some people do not like gambling with their personal information but I have not had any problems, I shop on mostly verified sites. My shopping typically consist of clothes and beauty products ones that I use and some that dont. I do believe I spend a lot more now that online shopping is available to me then I would if I could only purchase things in a store which is why I consider it an addiction. In one particular case a shipment from Forever21 arrived at my door and for the life of me I could not remember what it is that I had purchased. Yes, I know that is horrible but I am admitting to having serious problem. Lets just say Amazon.com will not be going out of business any time soon with a customer like me.

Why I'm voting for Obama...

It's not that I don't like Mitt Romney but I don't Mitt Romney. In my lifetime I do not think I will ever be say that there will be a second black president . Although Obama has not completed all of his goals this history making election has been long over due. It is because of Obama that Mott a Mormon can even run openly in the election . Almost every president has fit in this small tiny box that most Americans in 2013 will not fit into . Diversity is key to bring this country together . Because what used to be the majority is now turning into the minority and our president should represent such. So this up coming election Obama Biden will have my vote and even if they don't win which I highly doubt. I can say that I was apart of history and voted for the first black president , who is not black but of a mixed background .

Looper.2012

   Over the past weekend m boyfriend and I decided to go see the new movie Looper staring Bruce Willis and the guy who played the younger version of him in the movie, I can never remember his name but he is in a lot of movies. The movie moved a little to slow for me. Since the movie was based on time traveling a lot of flashbacks and flash forwarding was done. The movie did have good plot twists but it kind of took to long to get their. In the movie Bruce Willis and his past self meet each other which is a very interesting concept. What would it be like to me yourself 30 years from now. I wonder through the entire movie what I would say to myself, would I give myself advice or what. All and all the movie was average and I would not mind watching it again if it came on tv or my favorite place in the word Netflix. I also wondered if movie attendance has gone down every since the tragedy in Colorado. I noticed that there were not as many people in the movies that I would normally see on a weekend night.But it could also be the fact that the price to see and eat at the movie theater has gotten to a ridiculous price. I cannot understand how it is legal to charge for a small popcorn the amount I would pay if I bought a box of popcorn with 6 bags in it. But I digress.

THE GYM

I work at a gym. Every Tuesday and Thursday I force myself awake at 4:00 am to get ready for work and open the gym at 5:00 am. Every morning the same few point are already sitting in the parking lot waiting for me to open the doors. Every morning this makes me extremely pissed off. I would like to know why they feel the need to arrive at the gym before it even opens at 4:00am. The machines are not going anywhere and neither is the gym.No holiday,weather condition or illness would defer these people from coming to the gym. I am now starting to view it as an addiction almost. But it gets better, if it is not the gym nuts that sit and wait for the gym to open it is the grown en who come in groups like little school girls and excercise their mouths more than they do their biceps. I have never seen a group of men be so clicky before. I often wonder why no one has anything better to do like work. But maybe that is just me being grumpy because of the ridiculous hour I have to wake up to be here. The only thing that should be up at 4:00 is the moon. It just isnt natural to function at this hour.

Desperate House Wives.

I recently began watching the infamous Desperate House Wives series on Netflix this week. I am not sure what brought me to do so. Over the past few years I have heard a lot about the show but as I sat down to watch I truly did not know what to expect. The first episode involved a suicide, unhappy marriage and infidelity. I was in. The show really surprised I assumed that from all the hype the show was receiving that it was probably trash. I am happy that I am watching it now without all the talk surrounding it because I like to go into a show or movie without any preconceived connotations. I am glad I gave the show a chance because it is truly surprising me at how good it is. the episode is told partly from a first. second and third person narrative. But mainly told from the view point of Mary Alice one of the five housewives. She has committed suicide and is telling the story from the dead basically. This is something I was not expecting when I tuned into the show.I am looking forward to watching all 8 seasons of the show that are available on Netflix.

Once Upon A Time PT. 2

      I have now finished watching the first season of ABC's original show Once Upon A Time. I am not sure if I am satisfied with the ending of the show but I am looking forward to the next season. The character development is what i like most about the show. Each story has been writing to intertwine each character in a way that actually make sense. The show has inspired me to look up the original Grimm Tales that have inspired most if not all the characters in the tv show. The tv show has defiantly put its own spin the telling of the stories of the characters and giving them more life than the stories ,movies or television shows in the past. The only character in the story who is not based on a fictional character is Henry , the adopted son of the evil witch who is now the Mayor of "Storybrooke". Season two premiered last night and I will be trying to find it on Demand to watch it. The show ends with Mr. Gold aka Rumpelstiltskin taking over the fictional town with a curse of his own. I am assuming the new season will be revolved around him and his intentions. One more interesting thing about the show is instead of a "beast" in Beauty and the Beast they actually used Rumpelstilskin in which he falls in love Belle and her with him. That was by far my favorite episode of the show so far.

Once Upon A Time..

 I have a new television show, although I am not watching it on television. Once Upon A Time is a ABC orignal television show that is now available on Netflix. The basic theme of the show is every storybook/fairytale character you can possible think of from Snow White to Pinnochio are trapped in the "Real World" by an evil witch. The evil witch chosen was Snow Whites nemesis. A interesting choice but not surprising. Apparently she is the most evil of them all. The shows main character is Snow Whites daughter. Who knew she even had one....Anyways the show has me very intrigued. It seems kinda childish at first however the writing is good and the storyline is very consistent. I usually do not enjoy shows like this but I have finally found my guilty pleasure.

Lord of the Rings....

Well another dvd from netlix arrived today. It was the Lord of the Rings.  I have never seen this movie all the way through because I tend to fall asleep before the journey even begins. Today was no different however I did end up waking up right when the action began to take place. Almost everyone has a different view and take on the movie. For some reason the ring to me represented money. The ones who do not have it want it the most and will do anything to get it and the ones with it abuse the power of it. Im not sure if anyone else has had this view on the movie but I will definitely research some popular opinions on the movie. I plan on watching the movie again the whole way through just so I can say I did not fall asleep through the movie.

CRASH.

   Today I watched the film Crash on Netflix. I have scrolled by it probably a thousand times to watch something else for no reason at all. But today was different. From the opening scene I could not stop watching. This film almost makes you feel the tension between every character in the movie regardless of your race. This is a perfect example of stereotypes and the reverse. The character that stuck out the most to me however was Matt Dillion's character. He played a angry racist but mostly misunderstood cop with a sickly  father he who is being refused health care. He sticks out the most for me because his pain is seen in almost everything he does. The way he speaks to and treats woman and black people.  The film had a remarkable way of putting yourself into each character shoes which made it hard to point a finger at any one character to blame for the events took place. What made the movie even more interesting was the fact that each situation tied together in some way. Im curious to know whether this was a book first because I would most definitely be interested in reading it. Crash has made it to my personal much watch  movie list and I plan on watching it again for things I may have missed the first time around.

South Park.

I recently watched an episode of South Park on netflix. I usually do not enjoy the show on comedy central mainly because I find it difficult to get into the show due to censors and commerical. However on netflix there are neither of the too. The particular episode I watched started off with a commercial about crack babies. The commercial was similar the ones about abused dogs so collection a video in slow motion with extremely hard breaking music in the background. However this commercial featured crack babies. A whole later in the show Stan a character in the show was so affected by this commercial that he could not resist going down to the local hospital and volunteering in the crack baby unit. Only to find Cartman another character leaving the unit. Cartman is known throughout the show for being a asshole for lack of a better word so seeing him volunteer was completely out of character for him, no pun intended. Later on in the show you find out Cartman was using the crack babies for a illegitimate basketball league in which he collected all proceeds. How horrible I thought to myself, until Cartman appeared at an educational institutional in which he showed interests in the schools basketball players and asked if he could use them for his basketball leauge. Cartman was turned away because of the inhumane he was suggesting. Until I sat back and analyzed the episode. Cartmans "business" was no different than what high schools and colleges do to their players. Granted the players are not addicted to crack and are babies but they are making money of the talents of players and paying them for rules they installed in the first play. I will continue to watch South Park for the way it makes me analyze not only the episode I am watching but the world I live in.

Iphone 5

Today the latest addition to the Apple IPhone line, the IPhone 5, will be announced along with its features around 1pm est. I have never watched one of these press conferences where a certain product is being released to the world because it does not interest me that much or I had something more relevant or important to do. However I have own the IPhone 4 for a year now and I am considering upgrading my phone to the IPhone 5. Despite the disgusting price of the estimated cost of the iPhone 5 being around 300 I am still considering paying that much money for a phone that will most likely end up breaking, randomly stop working and all the other things that every phone I seem to lay my hands on does. But why not money is meant to be spent and I rather by 300$ phones while I am single , kids and mortgage free. I am curious to see the things that this new IPhone has to offer. More often than not apple products are by far easier for me to work with not only for extracurricular thing but for school and work purposes as well.

My dogs

I own two dogs Rain, and Coco. Both are girls and have completely taken over my household. Coco is 

a full bred German Shepard my mom bought at unknown location in New Jersey for a price she will 

not disclose to anyway. Coco has more personality than ten dogs. If she is not biting something she is 

knocking it over with her tail which is almost the same size as her body. She is playful loving and 

extremely aware of her surroundings. Now Rain has a different story. Rain was found by me sitting on 

the steps of my job around 5:00 am in the morning in the pouring rain, hence her name. I called my 

mom immediately to take her home until my shift ended, so I could take her to the vet. From the first 

moment I met Rain we clicked , we had an understanding. I would take care of her and she would be a 

dog. I took her to Coco's veterinarian  to see if she had an owner but no electronic chip or collar. Aside 

from two scabs on her body she was in perfect health. She is the sweetest dog I have ever met however 

I am probably being extremely biased as would anyway dog owner would be. She does her own thing 

and will not hesitate to ignore any command giving to her. She has welcomed her new home and even 

responds to her newly given name. I often wonder what her name could of been however it does not 

really matter. She is Rain now.

Im switching to Netflix...

I can not stand t.v anymore. I have to force myself to watch it and when I do I probably spend more

time looking for something to watch than actually watching a show. It is to the point that I find

commercials more enteraining then the shows themselves. Cartoons are not even the same anymore.

Everything is a reality show or competition. Which would be okay if these shows actually depicted

reality or a real competition. Then on top of it even when the show fails they replace it with the same

non sense with different people and storyline. I much rather spend 7.99 on Netflix every month. Yes

the movies are not that good but for 7.99 I will survive. The few t.v shows that  I would not mind

watching are also on there so I think its time to do away with cable and the precious bill they send me

every month and solely use Netflix. However there is one thing Netflix does not offer, the news. Which

aside from usual wrongly predicted weather conditions I do not think I will miss at all.

After we killed Justin Bieber...

  After we killed Justin Bieber unemplyment rates jumped to a all time high. Woman and children

wept from knowing that they will never have to hear Justin's untalented voice again. Barack Obama

was relected for another term of presidency and all seemed right in the world. I personally rejoiced by

playing the classics such as Michael Jackson, Aretha Franklin and Queen hoping that music will go

back to being about lyrics that move you not just make you move.Scientist found a cure for cancer.

Healthcare was free and George Bush was smart. The news struggled however because nothing needed

to be reported. Violence went 100 percent and no one felt the need to drink or do drugs because they

knew they would never have to hear another Bieber song again.